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Speedrun Through Hell in Kick Bastards the Parkour Kicker

Writer's picture: spencerkorollspencerkoroll
Cartoon face grimacing as a shoe kicks it. Bold text says "Kick Bastards." Background has dynamic lines and contrasting colors.

I am not Kick Bastards target audience. But I wish I was and that it was a longer game.


I loved the sense of freedom it gave while speedrunning through its underbellies of hell or the other weirder locations. And while its story wasn't anything Oscar worthy, it was humorous, fun, and could have easily been dragged out or added to and I wouldn’t have minded.


I still remember the moment I fell in love with it. Everything was tinted in crimson red as I ran through this tall ominous cathedral.


First-person view of orange armored legs kicking a humanoid figure near a fiery tower. Lava flows below, with "HELL" sign visible.

A small window overlooked the edge of a cliff with a thin pathway running through a lake of lava. I took a step back, unsure if I would make it, and leapt through. A few moments went by where all I could do was push forwards and hope I could make it far enough.I ran along the thin rocky path, bubbling hot death on either side. Chunks of stone jutted out from the lava up ahead that I leapt over and around to get to the final checkpoint. Turning back I was surprised to see 2 other paths I could have taken to get here.This was the first level I found like this. And it made me wonder, what else had I missed, what unknown paths could I have taken to get here.


Fantasy scene of a red canyon with lava river, towering castles, a large sword, and the word "HELL!" visible on a building. Dramatic ambiance.

It was that moment that captivated me. That sucked me in and had me begging for more. Thinking back on that moment, it really wasn’t that much. But everything about how I moved and interacted with the environment was so fluid. The last time I felt this way about parkour in a video game was the first time I played through Mirrors Edge.


I was already enjoying this game. But that inclusion of choice and discovery. That was what pushed it over the edge.




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